I have been TTC for >9 mos for #2 . I'm 34, I have had 2 chem pregs and a miscarriage this year (all in a row).

I'm an atheist. My friends know this. And yet, a very religious friend of mine says these things (of course - she's in her 20s.. and had no problem conceiving #2, which is due soon):

1. Be patient. God moves in mysterious ways.
2. Things happen for a reason.
3. God is testing you.

ARRRRGH!!!
Thanks for letting me unburden these.
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The woman at my company lunchroom cash register:
"You have kids? "No, but we want to...."
"Well, what are you waiting for?"
AAAARGHHHH!
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"You better have another soon before it's too late",
I don't need anymore comments from the peanut gallery.
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Just had to tell you about the worst comment I've had -
it was from my mother who informed me that
I wouldn't have any trouble conceiving since she
got pregnant as soon as she stopped contraception.
Two years later we're still trying....
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I have the sister-in-law who wouln't tell me
she was pregnant with her fourth child
(she had to wait until my husband got on the phone)
because she didn't want to "hurt" my feelings.
The "pity" thing is really getting to me!
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Went to dinner w/three other couples -
two are pregnant and started trying after we did.
I had recently had a miscarriage and
was already having a hard time seeing them knowing
they were still pregnant. We had two tables pushed together
and the way it worked out the two couples that were preg. were
at one table and we were at the other table.
Well, the one girl kept calling their table the
"special" table because they were both preg.
and couldn't drink alcohol.
I wanted to just go in the bathroom and cry!!!!
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My sister, who was 16 when she had her son
and 20 when she had her daughter,
has commented that it's looking like
she's going to have the first twins in the family
too unless I step on it.
My baby sister, who at 14 is 10 years younger than
me, is now the subject of my torment.
The new family joke is that she will beat my
husband and I to kids too. It's a little annoying
being the family joke and under everyone's microscope.
They all like trying to figure out
what could be wrong with us.
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After having had a less than ideal childhood (understatement)
I sometimes feel sorry for myself because 19 months later
I am still not pregnant. I sometimes say "It is not fair"
and someone who has children and/or grandchildren who hardly
took any time at all to conceive says "Life is not fair.
There are people worse off than you."
Well, I do that so now I feel miserable
for not being pregnant and guilty for feeling miserable.
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The absolute worst comment is
" Well, you must not be ready for children or
God would have made you pregnant"
Yeah, like that crack addicted, AIDS infected pregnant woman
they did a story on last week was ready!
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After a miscarriage of a dearly wanted baby: There was obviously something wrong with it - besides you weren't far enough along to become emotionally attached...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A newly pregnant friend
(who didn't plan the baby and
has an "interesting" relationship with her boyfriend)
told me to "hurry up and get pregnant
so we can be pregnant together!"
Her baby is now 6 months old,
and I'm still trying to "hurry up"
by the time she "accidentally" has her second!
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coworker/friend who's pg
insisted that I see her ultrasound pictures,
although she knows
we are still ttc after 18 months.
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This is from the doctor and nurse who did my HSG,
WHILE the tube was inside me
and we were all looking at the screen.

"Well, this was never a problem for me." (Doctor)
"No it certainly wasn't." (Nurse)
...they both giggle...
"You should see his huge family." (Nurse)
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This is from my Dad (I am the oldest of five children)
- he is a doctor -
"Well, I don't know what to tell you.
I obviously never had that problem!"
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If I hear "stop trying so hard" or
"at least the miscarriage happened early,
there was probably something wrong" or
"it'll happen when its meant to
happen" or "God will bless you when he
thinks its the right time" I will
absolutely go insane!
Does God WANT crack addicted women having crack
addicted babies who suffer?
I don't think so!
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I went to a conference with two coworkers
who couldn't stop pointing out
all the cute babies everywhere.
At the airport on the way home they saw
a woman with a baby and started
talking to her. She said (loudly, of
course): "This is our fifth! You
would think we would know how to avoid
this after all this time.
There were SO many tears when we found out we
were having ANOTHER one."

Excuse me, I think I'M the expert on tears around here!
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I have been trying to have
another baby for 17 months now.
My sister in law who tried
and was succesful after 1 month insist on telling
me to "relax, stop trying it will happen"
I was really hurt when my
mother in law burst into my house one Saturday
afternoon to tell me the "good news"
that my sis in law was pregnant!!
"Isn't that wonderful?"
Don't get me wrong...
I am happy I will be an Aunt again,
but I was hurt by
the way my mother in law didn't
take my feelings into consideration.
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From idiotic family members:
"You and your husband just need a romantic
weekend away--that'll do it!"
and even worse:
"You two DO know that you
have to have sex, right?"
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I've been TTC for just over 3yrs now
and a coworker who tried for 6 months
before conceiving her 2nd
told me.........
"I know how you feel"
.............
How insulting
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During my brother's engagement in February,
my "future sister in law" asked me
when was I going to have a baby.
I made the mistake of telling her that
my husband and I finally decided
we would start trying.
During her bridal shower in June
and several other family get togethers,
relatives asked me the dreaded questions,
"Are you pregnant yet?"
When are you going to have a baby?"
What are you waiting for?" etc.
My response "We're trying now."
Well my "sister in law" not once,
but several times, has jumped in and said,
"Oh she's been saying that for months.
I'm probably going to have a baby before she does."
AARRRGGGGHHHH
I finally went off on her
the last time she made this comment.
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How about hearing from a nun,
"Maybe you're trying too hard" ?
I teach in a Catholic school
and the nun who is our librarian
said this to me recently,
knowing I suffered a miscarriage nearly two years ago
and haven't gotten pregnant since.
Hello!
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The worst thing that has happened, of course,
comes from my mother-in-law.
My husband's niece (not married, boyfriend is a thug)
already has one son by this guy and the MIL called
to tell me that she is pregnant again, but not to
tell anybody. As if I was the only person who
needed/wanted to know. So what was I supposed
to do? Act happy that she is pregnant with a
child that won't know a normal home life?
Yeah, that makes sense..my dh and I would love
and care for a child but we can't seem to get it right.
At least, that's what everybody says...
"You must not be doing something right".
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My dear sister-in-law saying
"We hope you get pg soon.
We want to start trying ourselves,
but we want you to get pg first.
After all my brother
is the oldest child in our family.
He should have the first grandbaby."
Does she not think we are really trying????????
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A few of the other moms (with 3 or more kids)
at my DS's preschool have looked at me
in ignorant envy and said
"Sometimes I wish we only had one child".
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I have a 3 year old a DS and have been ttc #2 for over a year.
Strangers say, "Don't you want to give your little guy
a sister or brother to play with? You don't want them
too far apart in age or they'll have nothing in common."
Some day I'll get up the nerve to say "What makes you think
I don't cry my eyes out every month
I'm not pregnant because I want another
more than anything in the whole world!"
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