At the tender age of 8, I found a pad under the sink.
"What is this little diaper for?" I began to think.

I asked my mom about it, but being shy and proper,
She told me not to touch, it wasn't for me, but her.

At the self-conscious age of 13,
when all my friends had found Aunt Flo,
I began to pray and hope that I, too,
would soon have womanhood with proof to show.

Then the day that she did first come,
I began to suspect that it wasn't so great,
For she came unexpectedly at a pool party,
I guess she just couldn't wait.

At the experienced age of 21, I had my first big fright.
I imagined telling mom and dad that
I hadn't been so careful that one night.

But, Aunt Flo showed up a little late,
just in time for spring break,
That time I dared not complain about
her timing--the relief I was glad to take.

Now, at the frustrated age of 27,
I wish and pray that she'll stay away,
I take my temp, check my mucous,
and have sex almost every day.

But, month after month she shows up at my door,
I feel hurt but then must rally,
I'm afraid that all those times
I wished for her, she was keeping tally!!

So, one day soon the old hag and
I will finally even the score,
And she'll find herself lost on
the path and won't make it to my door.

I know it's corny,
but it is a better way to deal with this agony
than the way I was earlier this morning.
Hope I got a laugh out of someone!!

Holly
Posted By: HollyRae(27), cd1

Beep, beep, beep, time to take my BBT.
Up, down, up it goes.
Will I ovulate?

What!? I never knew I had mucus in places other than my nose!
It's not between my toes...
What!? I have to check where?
Boy I never knew my body did so much work!

Pee, pee on your ovulation sticks
or use your monitor today!
1 line? 2 lines? are they the same color?
3 bars and an egg shaped thing!
Ovulation is coming, time to jump in bed!

One day, two day, three day, four.
Make a little love, then make a little more.
Five day, six, phew! Time for a break!
Even dear hubby is starting to ache!

Oh, a temparature rise! One, two, three!
Three elevated days, mean now it's phase three!

Waiting, waiting, waiting.
Oh, what fun is this!
Two whole weeks to see if it was a hit or miss!

A few days till the dreaded thing is due!
Will it come or not?
Sure, hope it doesn't!

A tingle, a drop, run to the potty!
Is it here? I hope not!
Phew, false alarm!

Look up pregnancy symptoms.
What!? As menstruation they're the same!
This is enough to drive anyone insane!

Lump in my throat, tears in my eyes.
I find another attempt is unsuccessful.
"I'm back in the saddle again!"

Meanwhile, months go by and Sally, Meg and Jane are all pregnant!
It happened so quickly for them!
What's wrong with me?
I wonder, will it ever be?

The uncertainty breaks my heart!
Sometimes, it brings me to blubbering tears!
I want off this emotional roller coaster!

Beep, beep, beep time to take my BBT!
The cycle starts all over again.
In irritation I wonder who first said
"Trying to conceive is fun and exciting!"
Obviously, they've never actually TRIED it!

The DPO Blues

Woke up this morning
My bbs were still sore
Wondern' if its all in my head
Maybe I am....
Then again maybe I'm not
Oh yeah, I got the dpo blues

I hope auntie stays away
But if her dog Spot
Comes for a visit
What will it mean?
Implantation or not?
I think I'm goin' crazy!

Feelin' a little crampy
Or maybe just crabby
Are my temps going to stay up?
Oh this roller coaster sucks
I've got the dpo blues